What is this existence,
through which I wander.
How it carelessly toys with me.
Dousing flames of Vision & Wonder,
as these dark clouds follow me.
Pressures building
Mind/Heart racing
Nightmares chase me
Feeling numb
I close my eyes as I breathe Freedom;
This world will not make me Un-done.
1 more drink
1 more drag
1 more pill
Not so bad
Someone save me, I’ve tried and failed.
But no one answers calls from Hell.
So I dust off Brim-stone,
Head held high
These tattooed wings were meant to
Fly.
This poem was written for Mother’s Day, but the words that follow endure forever more.
Impossible it is to produce an equivalent, for the love in my Life that you have poured.
As a boy, you provided comfort through the whirlwinds that ravaged me.
Many nights that I cried; over the Pains, over the Frights.
The Passion in your words brought me complete solitude.
The warmth of your hugs gave me the strength to make it through.
No matter what I had planned or the dreams I envisioned,
You held my hand with a smile, and encouraged Ambition.
Time after time I have failed,
Time after time I have stumbled,
& yet you’ve never lost Hope, where the others had left me.
& your Belief stood firm, where they’d all rather forget me.
I want you to know, Mom, I will never quit.
You give me all the strength in my World, & to you I promise this:
I don’t care how arduous the Journey awaits; I will make you Proud of me.
Love you always,
Ja’Ron C. Arrington
A melody fills the air. The room stands at attention. All eyes are drawn upon two souls who approach the floor.
The man & woman exchange salutaions; now we begin.
1st position
His grand strides paint a brilliant picture, capturing the audience immediately. The woman accepts the challenge. As the on-lookers witness the genesis, she grips him firmly, mirroring his every move to perfection.
2nd position
“My turn” she whispers. The rhythm of beauty and body transfixes her companion. But where many before failed, he recovers. He expertly navigates the floor; steps flowing in unison as the Ying to her Yang.
The two detach. Brass and woodwinds build the crescendo for their final strike.
Flawless.
Following the cheers and bravos, the two conclude their ritual and part ways. Ironic. The Ballad had ended, but their story has jus begun.
The Imperial City was in frenzy. Prophecy proclaimed that the birth of a princess to the royal family would usher in a new age of prosperity never seen before. The birth of Nephthys attracted nobles and journeymen from far and wide; all wanted to be present to offer tribute.
Not Lysander.
With the words of Giah echoing in his conscious, Lysander was determined to sacrifice Nephthys at the Pillars of Light. The Pillars stood on hallowed ground. It was believed that the Gods reigned down from the Heavens on their grand chariots and gave rise to the first dynasty to rule over the land of Egypt at that very spot. If there was any place that provided a link to the Spirit World, Lysander was certain that it lied there.
Under cloak of night, Lysander made travel for the Imperial City. Aware that patrols would be on high, he knew that it would be suicide to infiltrate the Grand Palace head-on. Lysander decided to enter as a temple servant. Being a slave, he had knowledge of the garments and markings temple servants donned. 3 moons after the birth of Princess Nephthys, Lysander implanted himself in the ranks of the Chamber maids. The princess was placed separate from Pharaoh and his Queen, for ceremonial purposes, in the throne room of Horus. Royalty were said to have been the earthly manifestation of the great deities the Egyptian people worshipped. Nephthys’ prophetic birth affirmed the age-old belief, and she was to be honored to the highest decree.
Sneaking past the throne room guards, Lysander descended upon the throne room of Horus during one of the day ceremonies. The child, barely a week-old, possessed a calm about her that initially startled Lysander. Casting aside doubts, he bundled her gently and escaped down one of the service tunnels being constructed alongside the throne room. Lysander proceeded to follow a river bank in order to conceal his tracks, but was spotted by chamber maids doing routine washing. The Palace Guard’s trumpet of immediate assembly sent a chill down the spine of Lysander. And so the great chase ensued.
Knowing that the fiercest warriors in the world would pursue him with every living breath he took, Lysander made the gamble to head straight to the Pillars of Light. “The Stairway to Heaven” he chanted to himself, as he fought off exhaustion traversing the country-side. When he reached the mouth of the cave entrance to the Pillars, Nephthys broke out into an uproar. Her cries ravaged the entire Kingdom. Tremors occurred, and great stones began to fall from the heavens. It’s said that the cries of the princess helped give shape to the Nile and the Sinai Peninsula. Watching from the cave, Lysander assured himself that his cause was Just, and that this was the only way to escape imprisonment on Earth. He prayed for forgiveness and began his ascent through the catacombs that lied before The Pillars of Light.
Reaching the summit, Lysander unveiled the new-born princess. She had stopped crying and was fast asleep. He walked between the Pillars and placed the princess down on the offering table. Instantly, an aura arose from the Pillars and covered the entire site. The stars overhead aligned into a direct path from the Polar star to a distant point directly in front of The Pillars. Last, a great white door appeared right off the edge of the summit, hovering in mid-air. “In the name of the Great Pharaoh I command thee to halt!” yelled out the Palace guards, weapons drawned, prepared to strike. Lysander’s pursuers had finally reached him. Leaving the child, Lysander approached the door. He closed his eyes, turning to Giah for strength, and took a step of faith in order to open the door. As light began to shine through, the Palace guards watched in awe as the distant stars revealed a cosmic stairway, leading into the upper echelon of the heavens. Lysander was lifted from the ground and drawn through the door.
A blinding flash followed.
The guards who remained at the cave entrance claimed that a tremor ended up sealing off the route through the catacombs. Lysander, Nephthys, and the other guards were never seen again. Legend has it that every 400 years, when the first rays of spring bless the lands of the Old Kingdom, you can see the stairway of stars that led Lysander home.
Part I
In the time of the Great Pharaohs, the world of ancient Egypt was the precipice of human potential. Arts flourished, medicines, sciences, some of the greatest advancements were born here. But one remarkable event overshadows the aforementioned. It came in the form of a young man, who dared venture where none other had before him.
His name was Lysander. Born a slave, condemned to a life of mediocrity and arduous labor, he dreamed often of an escape from the hell he was born into. All slaves lived on the outskirts of the Great Kingdom, far from any vegetation and water sources that were required to sustain hospitable conditions. After many grueling hours under the whips and insults of the aristocrats and nobility, Lysander would tend to his ailing grandmother, Giah. Giah was a soothsayer, one of the few remaining descendants of the first peoples who inhabited the great land of Egypt. But as she began to age, her visions became clouded, and she too was cast aside into the abyss which was slavery.
Everything changed on the eve of the birth of the Great Pharaoh’s daughter, Nephthys.
Returning from yet another day of backbreaking work, Lysander brought forth soup and herbs for the ailing Giah. For the past seven moons she had been fighting a devastating fever. Poor living conditions, illness, and age triggered sporadic premonitions within Giah’s self-conscious. She would bury Lysander with broken speech and rhetoric that made little of no sense to him. This night in particular, Giah had taken a turn for the worse. Realizing that this could be the last time he’ll embrace his grandmother, Lysander sat with her through the night, adjusting her wraps and making sure she’ll drift into her final slumber in peace. As the light began to fade from her eyes, Giah whispered to Lysander, “When the Princess of Night is born; the Stairway of Heaven will open. There, we will meet again, in happiness at last.” Lysander paid little heed to her final words as the air escaped his grandmother’s lungs for the last time. He walked out of his shack and gazed into the stairs overhead. “We will meet again Giah…” he says to himself.
The symbol for Infinity
A single line in continuous symmetry.
No beginning, No end.
Timeless
Such is Life, & such is the story between you & me.
We met.
We laughed.
We went our separate ways.
& this cycle continued, & still continues to this day.
We weave in & out of each other’s lives with relative ease, picking up where the last exchange ended.
Timeless
Learning more, Losing more, but remaining in distinct symmetry.
The End remains to be seen, but the flow is continuous.
One can retrace the symbol over and over again & a passer-by will never know where the 1st mark was drawn, where the last stroke was lifted.
I like it.
Within me lie four delicate porcelain vases
They are imprisoned behind gates that would rival that of Tartarus
Impenetrable
But as these vases lie eclipsed from the World, I’ve witnessed a transformation
For the longer they are hidden, the more they drain from my Being
My shoulders grow heavy, eyes daunting, Soul losing fire
A slow poison, with dire consequences
But no more
Today I tear down my prison, & unveil my vases — my Fears.
I paused after a moment to see if anything changed after writing this
Nope
The Fear will always be a part of me
But he is no longer housed, crippling my every thought
Exposure has begun…what’s the next move?
Mirror Mirror on The Wall/
answer me, I need your call.
Give me strength to fight my battles/
Grab the wheel, I’m on a swerve.
Nerves are bugging/Limits reached
DAMN IT MIRROR ANSWER ME
Death is creeping ’round the corner/Bills are due, but can’t afford’em
These gigs just ain’t cuttin it/
But this brick will cover rent
Pause.
Swore I’d never turn to drugs/
This degree just ain’t enough:
To keep the lights on
Water runnin
Now these student-loans are coming.
Damn…..
A nigga won’t equipped for this/Living Right don’t pay for shit
or so it seems, so I speak to you/
to help me think…& find the Truth.
Mirror Mirror on the Wall/ I am you, so sing this song:
“Father thou art lives in Heaven, I stand before you, Make me your weapon.”
No longer can I fight alone.
Light the path….guide me Home
To you.
-J
